Random times with the Cullens
by GreekFire
Summary: Weird,crazy and random stuff that the Cullens do! The rating isn't a definate.
1. Codewords

**This is just some weird thing I thought up. It started out that I mispronounced fridge, I called it fudge, and so me and my sister began discussing codes. Then I had something along the lines of this convesation with myself.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, I just think of strange, random things for them to do.**

Most of the Cullen's was sitting in their living room. Edward and Bella were on the couch, Alice, Rosalie and Jasper were in comfy chairs scattered around the room, and Carlisle and Esme were on the love seat. Emmett was the only one missing. Suddenly he bounded in and announced,

"I have to go sit on a potatoe." Every one stared at him.

"You have to go sit on a what?" Jasper asked.

" A potatoe." Emmett said as he flopped into a chair.

"Emmett, that's a chair."

"Yes, but its also a potatoe."

"What?"

"It's a secret code word! You didn't read the maneul of extremely awesome Cullen code words?"

"What code?"

"THE code."

"Emmett there is no code."

"Yes there is!"

"No there isn't."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"I see. This is code number 7. Argue about the existence of a code to mask the codes existence."

"No, the code just doesn't exist."

"Good argueing to protect the code."

"Emmett there is no code!!! And Im argueing because Im right."

"But there is the secret Cullen code."

"Why would we have a code anyway?"

"Two reasons. One, we're awesome. Two, we need to protect our secrets."

"Like what?!?" Emmett stared pointedly at Bella and whispered darkly.

"You know, the fact we're vampires?"

"Emmett, that's in public. Bella knows our secret. And what would a chair have to do with it."

"Be careful, the darkness is approaching." Emmett raced out of the room.

"That was odd."Bella said. Edward replied,

"No Bella, that's just Emmett."

**Can you please reveiw? I want to see if anyone likes it.**


	2. More codes and Ducks

**OK, 2****nd**** chapter! This is another one on codes. I know it's a little repetitive. It's just I use stuff from my own life as inspiration. So this one was with me and my friend. We saw my 2 other friends getting harassed by these boys, Scott and his trained monkeys. And so we had this conversation (or something close, but we didn't want other kids to stare if we debated rescuing something) and ended up hitting the boys with lunch box "rocks". Carlisle was our other friend.**

Jasper and Emmett were walking around a lake who-knows-where hunting. They wanted to go with the other 2 guys, no girls, but Edward was obsessed with Bella and she was allowed to see him that day, so yeah. Carlisle had to finish a bit of work but said he would follow them soon. So they were walking around and waiting for deer or something to take a drink. Then, with their vampire hearing they heard splashes, ducks quaking, and boys yelling. So they walked over and saw human boys throwing rocks at some ducks.

"Those poor ducks! They are bothering them! We need to help them!"

"Emmett, I didn't know you were such a duck friend!"

"Well, WE are. And THEY are bothering THEM!!"

"OK, they do need help."

"No THEY don't. THEM do."

"What?"

"Do I have to tell you simply? THEY are the people who I want to hit with rocks. THEM are the victims. And we are WE."

"Ok, Emmett, why don't we just call the ducks the ducks and the boys the boys?"

"Because someone might overhear us. I don't want it to be public knowledge I don't harass ducks."

"Sure Emmett." Jasper said, remembering the enigma in the living room.

"So WE need to rescue THEY?"

"NO!!! WE need to rescue THEM!"

"So THEY are the ones you want to hit with rocks?"

"Yes!"

"All right then." Suddenly Carlisle walked up behind them.

"Hello boys, what are you doing?"

"WE are trying to get THEY to leave THEM alone."

"Emmett, that's not proper grammar."

"WE are WE, THEY are the people Emmet wants to hit with rocks, and THEM are the victims."

"I see." Carlisle had seen the boys and grasped the idea. "Go then." Emmett ran shouting down the wooded hillside to the lake and chased the boys away from the ducks. When he came back he pulled out a loaf of bread from his pocket and fed it to the frightened ducks.

"Emmett, why do you have bread in your pocket?"

"Ummm, in case Bella got hungry."

"That's something Edward would do." And then frightened by the prospect of being as obsessive and protective as Edward, and having Edward think he was trying to steal Bella when he saw their thoughts, Emmett finally muttered.

"It was in case we saw any ducks." Jasper doubled over laughing.

**How was it? Any good? **


	3. A angry grease monkey

**OK, this is from past experiences. Sorry Em, I didn't know you yet, so it may not seem familiar.**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Twilight or the Golden Compass. **

It was a sunny afternoon at the Cullen's. Bella was over.

"Has anyone else seen the golden compass?" Alice chirped.

"Well, I've read the books." Bella said.

"I love that movie." Rosalie piped up.

"And I love you, even when you drag me to see weird movies." Emmett said, hugging Rosalie.

"And you dragged me to see it." Jasper muttered.

"I second that." Edward spoke.

"Every ones heard of it? YAY!!! Now we can see what demons every one can have!"

"It's spelled D-A-E-M-O-N with the e and the a stuck together." Bella spoke up.

"I don't care how it's spelled! Sorry Bella, back off Edward!" When Alice had said she didn't care Bella had looked hurt. That set off Edward, who now looked like he wanted to rip Alice's head off. He sat down and started comforting Bella. Just then Jacob bounced in the door.

"Hi Bells." He flopped down on the couch next to Bella, on the other side of Edward.

"EWWWW!!!! Dog Stink!!!!" Rosalie shrieked. Emmett tried to calm her down. Alice quickly explained the game to Jacob. Then they started playing.

"Jacobs easy, he's a wolf!"

"How about Emmett?"

"A bear?"

"That might work."

"Bella is going to be tough."

"A rabbit?"

"A dove."

"An angel."

"Edward that's not an animal."

"But she is one!"

"Thank you Edward." Bella leans up to kiss him earning glowers from Jake.

"I think a dove."

"Rosalie?"

"A dumb blonde?"

"Shut up wolf boy."

"A grease monkey?"

"EMMETT CULLEN HOW DARE YOU!!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO KNOW THE MEANING OF PAIN!!!!! SO HELP ME I'LL…"

"Bu Rosalie it's just someone who is good at doing auto mechanic stuff and you really are you are a goddess of that stuff and you look so hot…"

"I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!! IF I CATCH YOU I WILL RIP OUT YOUR LIVER AND YOU'RE SPLEEN AND TAKE OFF YOUR FOOT AND…" Her voice faded as she chased Emmett in to the woods. Alice continued on like nothing had happened.

"Me?"

"Shopper? What?!? On black Friday they are so animals."

"Parrot."

"Definably parrot."

"Jasper."

"A… I actually have no idea."

"Eagle?"

"Thanks Bella, I like that one."

"Edward."

"A mountain lion?'

"A god?"

"Bella…"

"Sorry. Animals, animals."

"Let's go with mountain lion."

"Is that every one?"

"Wolf boy Jacob, Bear Emmett, Dove Bella, Parrot Alice, Eagle Jasper, Mountain Lion Edward and Grease Monkey Rosalie."

"I HEARD THAT!!!! SO NOW YOU ALL WILL DIE TOO!!!!" The faint voice echoed from the forest.

"Umm, we better run. Wolf boy, get back on the reserve. Bella, you are coming with me. Alice, Jasper get lost." Edward said as he grabbed Bella. They all ran from the very angry blonde grease monkey.

**Ok, I know this was a random one. But I ran out of ideas. So… This was created! When me and my friends played this all I remember was I was a rabbit. Please review!!!**


	4. Boot Camp

**WOW! Yesterday I checked on the little graph thingy with the number of hits, the bar graph had 158 hits! I was so happy; I decided to upload another chapter! This was Thanksgiving with my cousins who are all boys. Someone decided that we should all go and make an army boot camp. So, enjoy!**

It was a quiet Saturday. Alice suddenly shouted up to Edward.

"Go get Bella, Emmett has an idea!" Edward tried to see what he had planned, but both Alice and Emmett were blocking their thoughts. Emmett was thinking about ducks, and Alice was thinking 'Head Shoulders Knees and Toes' in Japanese. Sighing, he sped down and got into his Volvo to get Bella.

"So you have no idea what Emmett has come up with?" Bella asked as then pulled into the Cullen's drive way.

"I didn't before, but now…"Edward growled. No other exclamation was needed, for in front of the now visible house there was a small camp. 6 camouflage tents blew in the light breeze, a tall pole with speakers stood in the middle, and a number of other camouflage items sat around in the front yard. In front of it all was a sigh on a plank of wood,

Emmett's Boot Camp

"Now I see." Bella said. Gathered around the sign were the other Cullen children, minus Emmett.

"Hi Bella!" Alice chirped as Bella tripped over a rock. Edward caught her and they both made it over to the sign.

"Emmett, Bella and Edward are here!" Jasper said.

"Good! Now I can start!" Came the reply from one of the tents. 5 seconds later Emmett burst through the tent flap. He was dressed completely in camouflage and had streaks of black paint under his eyes.

"DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY!!!? COME GET IN SHAPE AT EMMET'S BOOT CAMP!! WHO'S WITH ME!!!!?" He thundered.

"I'll join!" Alice said.

"Why not?" Jasper agreed.

"It's not like it will work for vampires, so I'm bored, let's do it!" Rosalie spoke.

"Bella you are not joining." Edward growled.

"Edward, Emmett promised to only come up with stuff Bella can do. And we can't use our vampire abilities on Bella. Why won't you say yes?" Alice complained.

"It's OK Edward, I want to try it." Bella said.

"Fine Bella, but I am going in to."

"RECRUITES PUT THESE ON!! YOUR NAMES ARE ON YOUR TENTS!!" He handed them each a uniform. Each disappeared into a tent. All the boys came out in, surprise surprise, camouflage t-shirts and sweats. Bella was out next, her uniform was another cameo t-shirt and black pants. Rosalie followed her until finally Alice was the only one left changing. You could hear muttering coming from her tent, along with snipping. Out she walked in black now short-shorts, the t-shirt, sleeves ripped, now had a black A on it. She even had a purse sew together with the extra fabric. And she was putting a pair of scissors and a needle into it.

"RECRUITS YOU NEED TO RUN AROUND THIS CAMP 10 TIMES TO JOIN THE ARMY!! GO!!!!!" A breeze blew up as all the vampires except Edward disappeared. A second later they were back. Bella jogged around the camp with Edward by her side. 5 minutes later they were ready for their next instruction.

"NOW YOU ARE IN THE ARMY. GO TAKE A WEAPON FROM THE PILE!!" The pile was full of rakes and shovels. After they were all armed Emmett bellowed,

"DROP AND GIVE ME 10!!!!" Every one dropped to the floor and did ten pushups. Bella was struggling to do 5 so Edward started helping her.

"EDWARD I SAW THAT!!!! DROP AND GIVE ME 5 MORE!!!" After Bella had finished Emmett yelled his next instruction.

"PICK UP YOUR WEAPONS AND MARCH!!!!!!" They marched to a pile of rocks the size of a house. Emmett ordered a stop.

"PRACTICE FINDING YOUR ENIMIES!!! FIND SOME BUGS IN THESE ROCKS!!!" Bella pulled up a small rock and picked up a few snails under it. She put them in the container destined for the bugs. The vampires were ripping up huge boulders and searching for the bugs.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!! CLIMB THESE ROCKS!!! GO, GO, GO!!!!!!!!!!!!" The vampires sped up; Bella and Edward were lagging behind. Half way up Emmett yelled.

"BACK DOWN!!!" When they were all back down Emmett bellowed again.

"NOW WE WILL BE HIDING!!! LET'S PLAY HID AND SEEK TAG!!!!! 1!!! 2!!!" There was a scurry as everyone hid. Edward was behind the rocks, and Bella dived under a bush. She gave a small grunt as she hit a rock. Edward was instantly by her side.

"I'm OK, you head back." He vanished. The rest of the game was at vampire speed. Bella hid behind the bush the whole game.

"REFORM AND MARCH BACK TO CAMP!!!!" As they marched Bella whispered.

"Anyone heard of mutiny?"

When they got back to camp Emmett ordered them to do 10 more pushups.

"Now!" Bella yelled. All the vampires fell on Emmett. When he was securely held down Alice asked,

"Emmett we will not let you up until you turn the lead over to Bella."

"FINE!!!"

"Bella, it's all yours." Alice said as they released Emmett.

"We should all go back and get some sleep-"Bella collapsed and fell asleep.

"_EMMETT!!!"_ Edward yelled and proceeded to attempt killing him.

**Hope you like this one! Oh yeah, a clear up from chapter 3. Daemons are born with you and are like your soul or something. They are made of golden dust and reflect your personality. That's a brief idea of them, and I hope it will help! **


	5. Dream a little dream

**I haven't updated in a while because I have 3 projects, math geometry dictionary, something on Africa, and a AT project on Fibonacci number sequence(I hate him). I decided to do an instant message one because it takes a while to type he said and she said, so I wanted to take a break. And also, I have never been on an instant message sight so something's might be off, and please don't point everyone out to me. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

NeverLeaveMe-Bella

NoSales4Me- Alice

BrotherinArms- Jasper

RedRose- Rosalie

GigglingGiant- Emmett

CuzIsaidso- Esme

Vanquish1918- Edward

NeverLeaveMe has logged on.

NoSales4Me has logged on.

BrotherinArms has logged on.

RedRose has logged on.

GigglingGiant has logged on.

Vanquish1918 has logged on.

NeverLeaveMe: I had the weirdest dream last night.

Vanquish1918: What was it?

NoSales4Me: Tel us!

NeverLeaveMe: Mike Newton was running for class president and Peter Pan was running for class clown.

NoSales4Me: …

BrotherinArms: Ha!

RedRose: Interesting Bella.

GigglingGiant: That's nothing! When I was human mine were stranger. I even remember some.

NoSales4Me: I remember some too!

RedRose: Tell us 1!

GigglingGiant: I was on the playground and I was in samurai costume and getting chased by a bunch of blue power rangers. I hate them.

RedRose: …

NoSales4Me: …

BrotherinArms: Blue power rangers?

GigglingGiant: Yeah.

BrotherinArms: I remember 1 of mine.

NoSales4Me: What was it?

BrotherinArms: I was in this desert and this guy had bombs for hands and he said, I have you now, and then he chased me and the rest of the confederate army into a ditch.

NoSales4Me: Oh! I remember one!

GigglingGiant: Tell us pixie.

NoSales4Me: I was a little white cat and I had to ask my aunt for her bubbles. She blew them at me and I turned purple, then I had to go on a search for the music fruit. Then there was this spotted cat who hated me and he had the orange drum. Then I had the banana harp, and Edward, human Edward, came in and hit the orange with a mallet. Then I woke up.

NeverLeaveMe: You dream about him 2!!

Vanquish1918: Don't bring me into this.

GigglingGiant: No wonder they put you in the asylum.

RedRose: I have 1.

GigglingGiant: What was it?

RedRose: I was in this old house and there was this party. I was in this totally cool dress… Anyway. There was this coffin covered with flower pots. Then it opened and this zombie knight got out and was chasing me. Then at the top of the stairs there was my friend, only she had this big nose, and was a zombie. Oh yeah, the zombie guy was going after me because I looked like his dead wife and he wanted to marry me.

GigglingGiant: WHO WAS HE I WILL KILL HIM IF HE TRIES TO MARRY YOU!!!!!

CuzIsaidso has logged on.

CuzIsaidso: Hello kids.

RedRose: MOM?!?

NeverLeaveMe: Esme?

CuzIsaidso: Yes, I'm just making sure you kids are being appropriate.

Vanquish1918: Of course we are!!!

CuzIsaidso: OK then! Bye!

CuzIsaidso has logged out.

RedRose: I'm bored.

RedRose has logged out.

GigglingGiant: Come back Rose!!!!

GigglingGiant has logged out.

NoSales4Me: I'm bored, let's go shop Jasper!!!

NoSales4Me has logged out.

BrotherinArms has logged out.

NeverLeaveMe: I love you Edward.

Vanquish1918: I love you Bella.

NeverLeaveMe: I love you Edward.

Vanquish1918: I love you Bella.

NeverLeaveMe: Let's log out.

Vanquish1918: Together.

NeverLeaveMe: *sigh*

NeverLeaveMe has logged out.

Vanquish1918 has logged out.

**Ok, I know this was random. And please don't expect another chapter before the holidays, I am really busy. And I have had all these dreams in the past. Weird, right? And please review!**


	6. Carrots,sporks and cookies

**Ok, I have handed in the dictionary, the Fibbinochi thing has been postponed and the thing on Africa I have already worked on today. So I have time to write, YAY!!! And If you have already read this chapter before 6pm eastern time you will notice that all the Alices were Rosalies. I changed it. And also this chapter is a bit longer now since I am adding stuff I know remember but forgot yesterday. Yes I forgot. That happens alot.**

The Cullen's were all in the school lunchroom with a bag of carrots, except Rosalie who was skipping. Bella walked up with her lunch tray and sat down to find them deep in discussion.

"I dare you to throw this at Alice." Edward was glancing at the pixie who was so absorbed in online shopping on her phone(she had hacked into the computer network). He was nodding to Jasper who had a spork in his hand. With a quick thrust he threw it at her. It clattered harmlessly off her neck, but she spun around and hissed.

"WHO THREW THAT?" Zeroing in on Jasper she snatched the Spork and hurled it back. A brief Spork war followed. Suddenly Jasper grabbed her posh designer jacket. Her held it like he was about to rip it.

"DON'T YOU DARE!!!"Alice quietly spit.

"Awww… Come on Pixie." Emmett said.

"Now you will be the 1st to die." She said to Emmett with a deadly intensity. Jasper eventually had the jacket wrestled away from him and now was examining a fat baby carrot that had a small tuff of hair on it. He glanced up and saw an empty chip bag that was Bella's. He snagged it and tossed it at Alice. She stared at it and growled,

"Bella." With immeasurable anger she threw it off the table at Bella and it hit another girl's shoe. The girl looked up and gave the Cullen table a glare, where the boys were laughing, Bella was trying to explain that Jasper threw it at Alice, and Alice was in a huff. Seeing the bag of carrots Jasper, who was bored, started pelting Alice with carrots. Emmett was hit with a stray carrot in the eye.

"OWWWW!!!!!" Emmett said, even though it didn't hurt. He began biting the carrots with a relish. One slipped and the end hurtled through the air. It knocked into Bella's face. She drew back and the carrot popped onto the floor. The Cullen table erupted into laughter, drawing stares from every corner of the cafeteria.

When thay had quieted down Edward opened a small bag of cookies. Every one saw it at the same time.

"I WANT A COOKIE!!"Emmett and Jasper yelled at the same time.

"NO!!" Edward said.

"I'LL GIVE YOU THIS EGG SANDWICH!!!"Emmett offered.

"YOU CAN HAVE MY JELLO!!!!" Jasper voiced.

"WANT MY PAPER BAG!!?!?" Emmett offered.

"I'LL GIVE YOU EMMETTS BAG, MY JELLO AND BELLA'S TRASH FOR 1 COOKIE!!!" Jasper yelled.

'I'LL TRADE YOU BELLA FOR A COOKIE!!!"Emmett shoved Bella at Edward.

"NO ITS MY COOKIES!!!!" Edward yelled, shoving a cookie into his mouth.

"Can I have a cookie Edward?" Bella asked.

"NO! THEY ARE MINE!!!!"

"WHY?!?!"

"CUZ I BOUGHT THEM AND I LIKE THEM!!!" Emmett was getting desprete, so he pulled every thing within in his reach into a pile in frount of Jasper.

"HERE!!! TAKE ALL THAT AND JASPER!!!"

"HA!!!"Edward shoved the last cookie into his mouth. Emmett and Jasper gave identical cries of loss.

**Yes I know it is very short. This was today at lunch.**

**Please review!!**


	7. Christmas Morning Conspirancy

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, or pens, or the 12 days of Christmas song, well, maybe MY version, since nobody else wants it**…

It was Christmas morning at the Cullen's. Bella was sleeping over and was still asleep. Esme insisted they all wait for Bella to wake up to open presents. Emmett was staring at the neatly wrapped gifts by the tree. He was bored. A bored Emmett is not a good Emmett. So he started humming then broke out into song,

"On the 300th day of Christmas some random person gave me!

12 people eating

11 Santa Hats

10 Buckets of wool

9 bazillion cookies!

8 pinkie toes

7 books on doodling

6 bricks!

5 pieces of grass

4 mindless VHS tapes

3 tubes of shredded paper

2 Garden Gnomes

And some jelly in a jam jar!!"

Emmett sat back, pleased with the reaction of his 'song'.

"Emmett, I don't think it goes…"

"Wha?" A very sleepy Bella had just stumbled down the stairs followed by Edward.

"YAYYY!!! PRESENTS!!!" Emmett barreled into the living room and attacked the gifts.

"What?!?!?!" Emmett held up a DS and a game.

"This thing is tiny! How am I supposed to hold that?" He held the stylus in his grip and promptly crushed it. He examined the game and then yelled,

"Farming simulation!! You don't fight anything? Or blow anything up?" When Esme shook her head no, he threw it out the window. There was a very loud crash, and a smash, and then a cat yowling just like you hear in the movies, and then silence.

"Ahh well. More prezies!" Emmett dove back under sending up a shower of boxes.

A few hours later Bella was opening her last present. It was a pen. She examined it.

"Look Edward, on the cap theirs you holding me, I look scared, and you look, well, sorta like you are going to eat some one. On the barrel it says Twilight in creepy letters. And behind us is…"

"Oh no!!" Emmett yelled.

"Who else is on their?" He whispered.

"Well behind me and Edward are you Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, and surprisingly, James, Victoria and Laurent."

"Who gave you that?" He asked. No one claimed responsibility.

"AHHH!!! THEY FOUND US!! THEY WILL GET US!!!"

"Who!?!"

"THE PINK BUNNIES FROM THE MOUNTAINS OF MARS!!!" He ran out of the room to go hid in some forgotten corner of the house.

"Umm, pink bunnies from the mountains of mars?"

"Yes Bella, it's one of Emmett's…conspiracy theories."

"OK then."

**I know the song was random. And the bunnies. But I actually got both these gifts; my reactions were different, but not as funny. (Thank you Mom!!! Oh dang, this was from Santa. Hope Annie, who still believes in Santa, didn't hear!!) And no I didn't sing this song out loud. Oh yeah, the farming simulation is called Harvest Moon. I am addicted to it. It is awesome!!! **


	8. Leprechauns and Unicorns

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Charlie the unicorn, or a leprechaun. **

**Sorry I haven't written in forever. Nothing much besides the usual fights over cookies and other random stuff I do. This chapter is a little out of character, but then, when isn't my stuff? Happy ! **

It was St. Patrick's day at school. Edward and the Cullens were sitting at the usual lunch table poking green bagels and corned ham. Bella came skipping over, her hair in 2 pigtails tied with green ribbons. In fact, she was completely dressed in green.

"I LOVE St. Patricks day!!!" She started singing, while digging into her green lunch.

"ME TOOOO!!!" Emmett yelled and proudly displayed his brand new green shirt.

"YAYYY!!!!" Bella shrieked, "WE HAVE TO FIND A LEPRECHAUN!!!!"

"YEA!!!!" She and Emmett ran out the door to recess.

"Do you have any clue what they are doing?" Edward asked Alice. The pixie replied,

"Leprechaun hunting. Please go follow them, I see them attempting to rip down the school fence in the near future." Edward ran out and followed them. Sure enough they were trying to rip down the school fence.

"MUST GET TO LEPRECHAUNS!!!!"

"Why the heck are you doing that Emmett?"

"THE SCHOOL IS PAINTING THE FIELD AND WILL NOT LET US OUT!!!!!!"

"YEA EDDIE!!!!! WE NEED THE LEPRECHAUN!!!!"

"OK, why are you both speaking in British accents?"

"CUZ ITS FUN!!!! AND HELPS US GET IN THE SPIRIT!!!"

"Why do you have to look there?"

"BECAUSE WE LEPRECHAUNOLOGISTS HAVE CONCLUDED THAT THIS FIELD HAS A HIGH PROBOBILTY OF CONTAINING A CLOVER LEPRECHAUN!!!"

"There are different types?"

"YES EDDIE!!! THERE ARE CLOVER LEPRECHAUNS AND RAINBOW LEPRECHAUNS!!!! ONLY LEPROCHAUNOLOGISTS KNOW THE DIFFRENCE!!!"

"But why here?"

"ANGELA SAID SHE FOUND 4 4-LEAF CLOVERS ON THIS VERY FIELD!!!!A SURE SIGN OF LEPRECHAUNS!!!" Bella and Emmett had spotted Jasper and Alice and were running over.

"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LEPRECHAUNS!?!?!???!!?!?!?!?!??!"

"Um, not really Bella…"

"SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS!!!"

"SHUN!!!!!!!"

"What brought that on?"

"CHARLIE THE UNICORN!!!"

"FROM YOU-TUBE!!!!!!!"

"Who??"

"CHARLIE!!!" Bella had turned to the nearest non vampire person and shrieked,

"HI CHARLIE!!!!! WANT TO GO TO CANDY MOUNTAIN!?!?!?!??!?!" Mike Newton turned around and said,

"Hey Babe,er,Bella. What did you call me and where is candy mountain?"

"Charlie is your new name if you want to go to candy mountain with me!!!"

"Can I get some sugar there?"

"YES!!! There's lots of gumdrops and peppermints and lollypops and…"

"Ummmm, Bella, that's not what he meant…"

"Stay out of it Edward! So, Bella, when do we leave?"

"Now!" Just then the recess bell sounded, canceling the trip.

**My friend and I went out and tried to find a leprechaun. In the end we only shunned the nonbelievers, talked in a British accent, and discussed Charlie the unicorn. Defiantly check out Charlie the Unicorn on YouTube, it's funny.**


	9. Soap!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or lemony fresh dish soap.**

**This is a Swan family chapter, so Bella and Charlie, no Cullen's. I know, boo, but I couldn't figure out how to make then fit in. Just a mistake I made the other day.**

"Bella, I think I should start doing some chores around here so you have more time." Charlie declared one day after dinner. Startled by the sudden statement, Bella said.

"Ummm, well, thanks Dad. If you want you can start the dishwasher, you just need to put in the soap." She pointed to the silver dishwasher, then went to clean up the living room.

"Bella, how do you do that?" Charlies anxious voice called from the kitchen. Bella had a arm load of sports magazines and other such junk and so just called back.

"First grab the soap and open the dish washer."

"OK."

"Then pour the soap into the little dish thingy until its half full." Charlie tried to pour the soap into the dish, but ended up filling it and also spilling soap all over the place.

"Got that."

"Well then close the dishwasher until it clicks then push the on button." Charlie did as Bella said then as he heard the rumble of the dishwasher lumbered off to watch some extreme but rather pointless sport. Bella had finished her cleansing of the living room so she walked into the kitchen. She gasped when she saw the soap and water covering the kitchen floor.

"DAD!!" She yelled when grabbing the paper towels. Charlie wandered back in to see his daughter on the floor intensely mopping up the soapy water gushing from the dishwasher. When it was finally sorta stopped she popped open the dishwasher. It was completely full of giant soap bubbles.

"Dad?! What did you do?!?!"

"Nothing! I may have put in too much soap, but not that much!"

"We may have to hose it out."That they did, sticking the hose off the sink into the dishwasher and turning it on. The spray of water dissolved the bubbles.

"What type of soap did you use?" Charlie pointed at a bottle of hand soap.

"DAD!! That makes tons more bubbles then dish soap!" She pointed at another bottle of soap.

"You probably put in enough for thirty loads!"

"Sorry Bella."

"Look! It says 'Do not put in Automatic dishwasher', right on the soap bottle." Bella pointed at the instructions on the back of the bottle.

"Never thought I'd need to read the instructions on a soap bottle." Charlie grumbled.

"You just go back in the living room and watch TV, I'll clean up."

"Thanks." Charlie said as he wandered into the living room, "well at least everything will smell lemony fresh."

**OK, I'm Charlie and my Moms Bella. A few notes, no I did not volunteer for extra chores, they were forced upon me. And I know that the Swans have no dish washer, so everyone, please don't come to me quoting page 37, line 17. There is a mention of no dishwasher there if you want to check, but I needed them to have a dish washer. Emmett might have been able to do something like that, that would be interesting… **


End file.
